Advance planning
Advance planning what you’d like for your end of life and after you die and clearly sharing these wishes with loved ones can help ensure your final days unfold as you wish. It can help save stress and uncertainty for loved ones, and ensure your desires are followed, especially if you are no longer conscious or capable of speaking for yourself due to illness.
To be able to really personalize the experience and access the most innovative options, we must preplan, and that requires a more open and honest relationship with death than most of us have.
There are lots of things to consider across medical wishes, funeral plans, and organizing important documents like a will. Lantern in the U.S. offers a good free (and better paid) planning tool. And With Avery offers an online workshop to take you through some of the practical and emotional skills around understanding and planning for death.
Medical wishes:
Outlining your preferences for medical treatment and end-of-life care is most often called advance care planning, advanced care directive, personal directive or a living will. It outlines what you ideally would like to happen as your life nears the end, especially if you cannot speak for yourself. For example, 7 out of 10 people say they would prefer to die at home, but 70% die in hospital, nursing home, or long-term care home. If this is important to you, your family and care team may need to plan ahead to make it happen.
In some states and provinces, this plan is not a legal document so you would share your wishes with a designated substitute decision maker or grant healthcare power of attorney. In the UK, you can choose to appoint a next of kin (does not have to be a family member, they can be a friend or partner) to oversee your plans.
Things to consider:
Understand your options: Learn about the different types of advanced care directives and the laws in your province or state. If you travel or have a second home, you may need a different plan for another location.
Think about what matters to you: What is most important to you? What do you value? Do you have beliefs that will impact your choices? What does quality of life look like? What will make you most comfortable physically and mentally?
Consider your preferences: Think about the types of medical treatments you would want or not want in different situations, and the kind of care you would want at the end of your life. Where would you like to be?
Choose a healthcare agent or substitute decision maker: This is the person who will make healthcare decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so. Choose someone you trust who will follow your wishes.
Understanding an illness and the common types of treatments associated with it can help you or your loved one plan for what you might want in the future. Consider how you feel about medical interventions such as major surgery, blood transfusions, intubation, or cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Do you want life sustaining measures or life support? And think about what would matter more to you in different scenarios: prolonging quantity of life or quality of life as you define it, being present and alert in final moments vs. taking drugs which can manage pain but make you drowsy etc...
Five Wishes in the U.S. and Advanced Care Planning in Canada can provide templates to outline this key information.
Once you’ve outlined your wishes, download and fill out the appropriate forms. Remember: each country, province, or state may have their own documents or process. Ensure your wishes are clearly stated and make sure to outline any specific instructions or preferences you have for your care. Some documents may need witnesses to be legally binding. Even without an official legal document, clearly communicating your wishes to loved ones in written form can help take out any ambiguity.
Make copies of your advanced care directive or plan and give it to your healthcare agent or substitute decision maker and your doctor. You may also want to provide copies to family members, close friends, and your lawyer.
You may also want to review these plans frequently as advances in health care, death care, and burial may open up meaningful new options for you.
Funeral planning
An advanced care directive can also include your wishes for a funeral, celebration, or memorial service (more HERE) and instructions for what you would like to do with your body such as burial or cremation (see more options HERE).
Some of the things you may want to specify:
Where would you like to die?
How to handle your body after death. Would you like to be buried, cremated, or something else?
Whether to hold a funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life.
Where would you like your service to be held?
Any religious or cultural customs to include.
Any special decor, floral, or musical requests.
Who would you like there?
Would you like anyone to speak?
How would you like to look and be referenced at your funeral or viewing?
Important documents
It is always a good time to get all your important documents in order. Creating a master document, binder, or online resource for your loved ones with key information including where to locate your will, advance care directive, and online passwords can be helpful to relieve some of the logistical work for loved ones at end of life and ensure your wishes are followed.
Key things it is helpful to have organized:
Will
Power of attorney
Advance care plan/directive or living will (medical and funeral wishes)
Key medical information
Insurance
Finances, investments
Key contacts
Passwords and accounts
Online sites like Everplans, Lantern, Estate Box, and ReadyWhen can help organize documents and plans in one place.
You can also keep copies and links in a secure digital vault like Side Drawer.
Wills
Having a will is important to ensure your assets will be distributed in the way you direct after your death. Without a will, regional laws will determine who receives your property, which may not align with your wishes. Overall, having a will can provide peace of mind and ensure that your wishes are carried out after your death.
Benefits of wills:
Direct distribution of your assets
Appoint guardians to care for minor children
Minimize family disputes
Avoid intestacy laws
Select an executor who will be responsible for carrying out your wishes after your death
A lawyer or estate planning professional can help you draft a will that reflects your wishes and meets all legal requirements in your jurisdiction (a good overview of the Canadian process can be found in this Globe & Mail article) and there are great companies that can help you create a will in minutes online:
Canada: Willful
U.S.: Freewill and Trust and Will
UK: Farewill and Beyond Life
Australia: Safewill
Why is it so important? Erin Bury of Willful shares, “My husband and I learned the importance of end-of-life planning firsthand when we lost a family member unexpectedly and were left with unanswered questions. We built Willful to encourage every Canadian to get a will and to record other estate plans so their family is empowered to honour their legacy. If you have a spouse, a pet, assets of any size, children, or family members you care about, there's no excuse not to have a will.” (You can use this link for 20% off.)
Digital legacy:
You may also want to consider what legacy you will leave online and how you will be remembered virtually. Digital and social accounts will live on but can be closed or managed after a passing. Securing a personal domain name can give your loved ones a place to memorialize you (more on legacy websites HERE).
Facebook accounts can be memorialized and Apple has an option to pass on your data to family after you die.
Resources:
