Making difficult choices
End of life comes with countless difficult choices. Many of them are usually made when feeling emotional, vulnerable, and distraught. Any decisions and plans that can be made in advance can really help lighten the challenging days ahead.
Communication is key. Talk through options with loved ones and trusted advisors. Share your decisions as they are made so your plans and wishes are clear to all impacted.
Some things to reflect on when making difficult health decisions:
Identify values and priorities: Let what is most important to you guide the key decision.
Speak openly and respectfully: Encourage people to share their thoughts and feelings. Let your loved one know that you are there to support them and that you respect their right to make their own decisions.
Gather information: Do research and collect info about all the options available. Is the information clear? Do you need a second opinion?
Consider different perspectives: Think about the impact for everyone involved, especially the patient. Talk to people you trust and respect to get their opinions and insights on the situation.
Weigh pros and cons: Write down the positive and negative aspects of each choice.
Set a deadline: Aim for a deadline to make the decision to avoid being paralyzed by indecision. This can be especially important if time is pressing.
Trust your instincts: After considering all of the information and perspectives available to you, trust your instincts and do what feels right for you.
Be prepared for the unexpected: Be prepared for changes to occur and have a plan B. Make sure you have copies of important documents such as healthcare power of attorney and advanced care directive to help guide when unpredicted scenarios arise.
Remember that decision-making abilities may change over time with illness, so be prepared to adjust the approach as needed.
End of life also requires many tough conversations. You can help them go smoothly by preparing in advance, keeping the points you want to make, understanding the outcome you hope to achieve, being open and direct, actively listening, and being open and respectful to other people’s thoughts and feelings even if you disagree with them. Be mindful of your tone and body language during the conversation and aim to find mutual purpose.