Celebrating a life

There are many, many ways to celebrate and honour the lives of the people you love. While some traditional institutions have taken over the common ways we memorialize someone after a death, there are things you can do to personalize and innovate the celebration by tapping into who they uniquely were, their spirit, and what they valued.

Some of the things you can do to celebrate a life:

• Hold a funeral or memorial or celebration of life event (more HERE)

• Create a memorial website or social media page (more HERE)

• Donate to a charity or cause in the person's honour

• Create an award, scholarship, or bursary in their name

• Plant a tree, dedicate a public bench, commission art, or other physical memorials for people to visit (more HERE)

• Create a memory photo book or video

• Participate in a commemorative activity such as lighting candles or holding a moment of silence 

• Hold celebrations on yearly anniversaries or special dates

• Keep friend and family traditions alive

• Continue to honour their memory through shared stories and experiences

Don’t put too much pressure, financial or otherwise, on the event immediately following the death. Most people are still deep in sorrow close to a death so it is okay to take some time to plan things out. And ongoing celebrations to mark special moments and anniversaries can be as meaningful as one big event. 

Grief coach and founder of The Grief Gallery, Charlene Lam helps people process grief by curating some of the meaningful objects in their lives into an exhibition as an alternative to a traditional memorial. She invites you to think about:

1. How do you remember the person?

2. How do you want to remember the person?

3. How do you want others to remember them?

“The further you get from the death of your person, the way you choose to memorialize them and their legacy becomes much more personal…unique, authentic, and intentional” says Marisa Renee Lee in Grief is Love. She also makes an important distinction between the celebrations and moments we create to publicly honour someone, from the legacy, or internal connection to the values and way they lived their life that they passed on to us.

Our celebrations of those we have lost and the love and grief tied to that can take many forms. It’s worth investing time to find meaningful and personal expressions that reflect who the person really was and how you want your relationship with them to continue.