Writing an obituary or eulogy
Sharing memories and accomplishments of a person’s life in an obituary or eulogy can be one of the most meaningful ways to honour them.
Obituary
An obituary, usually published in a local or national newspaper, is a public way to honour the memory of a loved one who has passed away. It usually describes the life, personality, and accomplishments of the person who has died, as well as the details of any upcoming celebratory services. They often follow a standard format but, like all things in life, can be customized to reflect who the person really was. Here is a fabulous example of how a person’s personality can really shine through.
A few ideas to help you write an obituary:
Gather information: Gather key info about the person who has passed away, including their full name, birth and death dates, place of birth and death, occupation, education, and any relevant organizations they were involved in.
Write a summary of the person's life: Write a short summary of the person's life, including important accomplishments and milestones.
Include family information: Include information about the person's family, including the names of their spouse, children, and other relatives.
Ask yourself questions about your loved one to dig deeper into who they were:
How would you describe your loved one’s personality?
What are some of your favorite memories of your loved one?
What were your loved one’s proudest accomplishments?
What were your loved one’s hobbies/favorite things to do?
What was the thing you loved most about your loved one?
Any foibles/quirks or personality traits that made your loved one extra special?
Include service information: Include information about any services that will be held, such as a funeral or celebration of life, and any information about donations or contributions in lieu of flowers.
Contact the newspaper our outlet you would like it published in to submit. They may have guidelines for how to submit and prices may vary based on length (# of words) and if you include a photo or not. Have someone give it a proofread before you submit.
Eirene and Empathy also offer AI writing tools to help get a draft started.
Eulogy
A eulogy (speech or written tribute) to a person who has passed away allows one to share fond and personal memories that shine a light on who they really were. It is an honour to be asked to give one, but many people get nervous speaking in front of crowds so one way to get over any apprehension is to remember it is better to have said something in their memory than nothing at all. An open heart and a little practice will lead to a meaningful eulogy.
You can start by following the same tips above for an obituary, but feel free to add in more personal stories and reflections to bring the speech to life.
Gather information: Start by gathering information about the person's life, such as their accomplishments, hobbies, and personal qualities.
Compile favourite stories and anecdotes: Write down the moments you remember fondly that really tell the audience what your loved one was like. Think about what they loved to do, were most proud of and would want remembered for. Look through any personal items or documents that may offer deeper insight into their life.
Talk to family and friends: Ask those who knew the person well, “what are the first words that come to mind when you think of the person?” The key memories from others can be a really good place to start.
Decide on a structure: Think about how you want to structure the speech. A standard format is to begin with an introduction, share anecdotes or stories about the person, highlight their achievements or qualities, and end with a conclusion that summarizes their life and legacy. You can also take a theme inspired by their life, like a key value or trait, and weave it through.
Write a draft: Begin writing the eulogy using the structure you have chosen, weaving in key information and personal anecdotes that showcase the person's character and highlight their accomplishments and qualities. Choose a style and tone that would suit them. If appropriate to who they were, add funny stories, mishaps or eccentricities - sometimes those fun memories best represent a person's life and personality.
Edit and refine: Once you have written a draft, take some time to review and refine the eulogy. Make sure it flows well, avoids cliches, and is respectful and appropriate for the audience. You may consider sharing with friends or family for feedback.
Practice: Once you are satisfied with the eulogy, practice delivering it aloud. This will help you feel more comfortable and confident when delivering the eulogy. Time yourself to see how long the eulogy will run.
When you deliver the eulogy, take your time and speak clearly. Don't be afraid to pause or take a moment to compose yourself if you become emotional. The most important thing is to speak from the heart and honour the person's life in a way that is meaningful to them and their loved ones.